Little Giants Invade Windy City

Eli Manning

The 0-5 New York Giants pay a visit to Solider Field Thursday night to take on the 3-2 Chicago Bears. On paper this game can get ugly really fast for the winless Giants. Right now they look as gross as what the dog throws up at Christmas after he’s been hacking on a old garbage bone. You can normally count on three things from a Tom Coughlin coached team: pass rush, a running game and limited turnovers. Well welcome to “Upside Down World” because the Giants stink in all three areas. The next time the G-Men rush more than four defenders at a quarterback will be the first time this season. 72-year old Brandon Jacobs is the starting running back for the game which goes to show the lack of depth at the position. Eli Manning leads the league in interceptions with 12. Do you see a pattern here? The only thing the Giants have going for them right now is as bad as they’ve played they are still only two games back in the division. New York is actually closer to first place in their division than the Atlanta Falcons, the team that hosted the conference championship last season.
Across the sidelines will be the Monsters Of The Midway. The Bears have looked really good on defense this season despite a rough game last week. Keep in mind last week was a game against the high powered Saints offense which poses a problem for just about any team. The Bears defense has forced 6 interceptions this season coupled with 8 fumbles recovered. Chicago is opportunistic and could feast on the Giants ability to turn the ball over at an astounding rate. New Yorks 20 giveaways and -13 turnover ratio are by far the worst in the NFL. I haven’s seen anything turnover that much since Linda Blairs head in the original “Exorcist”.
From a fantasy standpoint obviously the Giants defense is not a good play. They have given up 36.4 PPG, good for dead last in the league. They face QB Jay Cutler who is as hot right now as Anna Kournikova was in the late 90s. Cutler is coming off back-to-back games of 310+ passing yards and 2 touchdowns. In Fantasy Football world that translates to 20+ points per game in NFL.com leagues. Jay has to be viewed as a number one starter this week. The prior mentioned Bears defense looks to be another good start. Despite only putting up 4 points last week Chicago hasn’t scored less than 10 points in any other game this season.
Bears receiver Brandon Marshall will be looking to score big after three straight weeks of under 100 yards receiving. He’s got the matchup to do it given the Giants high-schoolish secondary. Last week Eagles receiver DeSean Jackson had such an easy time against the Giants swish-cheese defense that he was named NFC Offensive Player Of The Week. The Bears receiver to really watch is tight end Martellus Bennett. I’m loving the matchup here for Bennett. I have him starting in two of my four fantasy leagues this week. While Bennett has not scored a touchdown since week two I would go all Pete Rose and put money on him finding the endzone on Thursday. The Giants have given up four scores and the 10th-most points overall to tight ends this season.
If you’re looking for the “sit of the week” look no further than that Giants poor excuse for a defense. There’s a reason the D is owned in only 12% of leagues. New York DST has scored a total of 12 points this year including -3 last week and a goose-egg week 2. Jon Beason (from Carolina) passed a physical and is now a New York Giant via trade. However, as a famous NASA controller once said, “that’s like shooting a BB gun at a freight train”.
I want to pick my hometown Giants to win this game. I really do. There was no scenario at the beginning of the year where you could have convinced me the Giants would start the season 0-6. Then again I’d call you a bold faced liar if you told me they’d be 0-5 too. I tried convincing myself the G-Men can play better Thursday and get their first win. But….nothing seems to point to that. The Bears just look like a better team in every aspect. They even get this game at home as if things couldn’t be more stacked against New York. It looks like I’m going to need quite a few adult beverages tonight watching my boys in blue. I’m taking the Bears in this one 27-17. Yea, I picked against my hometown and preferred team, so I’m a lowlife.

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